Acceptance

Some people think that unicorns are real, and I'm at peace with that. I completely accept that there exists a small population of non-baby-girl humans who firmly believe that these things are out there, and we're just having a hard time finding what basically amounts to a serrated horse. I get it. It's fine.

Some people say that there are succubuses. Demon chicks who come from hell to sex you up in the middle of the night. I can't even get the girl from down the street to feel my moustache, I'm not about to believe that there are ladies willing to travel from other planes of existence for my clumsy, ill-practiced touch. But some folks think otherwise, and that's cool, too. I won't judge you.

Ever heard of psychics? Those still exist. Basically, you pay cash money to hang out with some chick with "second sight." I don't care how many sights a lady's got, prostitution is prostitution. So you go to this wrinkled magic prostitute, and she's like, your grandma says "What's shakin?" Then she plays solitaire and tells you how you're gonna die. Not even a handjob. Unbelievable. But they stay in business, and to those who make it so, I say, I accept your alternative lifestyle.