The Sad

I went to a restaurant
And ordered the sad.
It was the best sad
That I've ever had.

The salad had toppings
Of wife-left-me croutons,
And tranny-I-accident-
ly put the moves on.

The lettuce was weepy,
The dressing sucked ass,
Like really deep sadness
That may never pass.

The main course was splendid
Juicy but well-done,
A big slab of baseball
Coach groping my son,

The seasoning perfect,
A sprinkling of dill,
A sweet side of sobbing
And therapy bill.

It sits in the stomach,
But can't reach the ass,
Some real heavy sadness
You know just won't pass.

Though already bloated,
Dessert I did get:
A big fart that sounded,
Uh-oh! too wet.

Delicious, of course,
But I don't feel quite right.
This kind of whipped cream
Keeps you shitting all night.