Laughter: An Investigative Report

Everyone in the world laughs the same, unless you're French or Santa. It is one of the things that (oo, and sex offenders, I think they laugh funny) makes us human. Some people say that dogs laugh too, but I think those people are just a little too desperate to have a real friend. Throw on Chappelle's show with your dog in the room. Nothing.

Laughter is like sex. Mechanically it doesn't make too much sense or seem that appealing, but if some is coming your way, clear your schedule! It has no logic, no purpose, but nevertheless if someone (also Seinfeld; Seinfeld is like laughter as well) presents you an opportunity to laugh, chances are you're going to take it unless it comes at the expense of your mother, ethnic group, or anal chastity.

In my research, I experienced all kinds of laughter. First, let me warn you: laughter resulting from tickling is an imposter. Sure you laugh, but there's nothing funny. Test it if you must. Go up to your buddy, and say "Buddy: hey. Wanna feel a joke?" They'll probably say yes. Tickle them. They will feel cheated, and, if you went to lunch with them in order to do this, have fun paying for that lunch. Normal laughter, however, whether it comes from dead baby jokes, dead chest hair jokes, or good old fashioned jive talking cats, is a winner. In my humble opinion, it is superior to both potatoes and "When Harry Met Sally."

Laughter is not recommended for those with respiratory problems. Afflicted readers should consider alternatives such as gasping, backward whistling, and posing as a CPR dummy.